Avoiding the overhead of SQL

Ok, I'll go first, even though this is more of a "whyTF". Have a look at this piece of genius. I've only pulled the bare bones because these scripts are HUGE. Names are changed for the usual reasons. dumpdb.sh follows:

#!/bin/ksh

function showtables
{
  cat << EOF
acc:client_account
amt:client_model_type
...
700 lines later
...
ugp:ultimate_group_parameter
vap:validation_parameter
EOF
}

function execSQL
{
eval "echo \"$SQL_HEADER$1$SQLTRAILER\" \
  |sqlplus -S $ORACONNECT   |path=/usr/xpg4/bin:"$PATH" awk -F: $AWK_PROG \
  | sed 's/::/: :/g' | sed 's/~:/:/g' \
  $OUT_FILTER \
  $ OUTPUT"
}
.
. 700 functions like this, one per table.
.
function fDump_client
{
    execSQL "select * from client;"
}
.

for table in $tables_to_dump
do
    if [[ "$TO_TAB_FILE" == "Y" ]]; then
        ## Send output to file named <table>.csv
        export OUTPUT=" > $table.csv"
        echo "Dumping $table to $table.csv"
    fi
    # Get filter if required

    if [[ $? -eq 0 ]]; then
        # There is a specific function for this table so use it
        fDump_${table}

    else
        # No function - just use default SELECT
        execSQL "select * from ${table};"
    fi
done

which is called by "application support scripts" as demonstrated:

#!/bin/ksh

function select_client_access_type
{
    
    # dbselect gives:
    #
    # 1 CLIENT_KEY         NOT NULL CHAR(3)
    # 2 MEMBER_KEY         VARCHAR2(4)
    # 3 NAME               VARCHAR2(50)
    # 4 PHONE              VARCHAR2(22)
    # 5 ACCESS_ENABLED     VARCHAR2(1)
    # 6 ACCESS_TYPE        CHAR(1)
    # 7 MM_AND_OR_CLIENT   VARCHAR2(1)
    # 8 RIGHTS_GROUP_ID    NUMBER(4)
    # 9 MANAGER_ID         NUMBER(38)

    IFS=:
    if ! set -- $(dumpdb | grep "^${CLIENT_KEY}:")
    then
        echo "CLIENT '$CLIENT_KEY' not found"
        exit $EXIT_NO_CLIENT
    fi

    MEMBER_KEY="$2"
    ACCESS_ENABLED="$5"
    ACCESS_TYPE="$6"
    MM_AND_OR_CLIENT="$7"
    RIGHTS_GROUP_ID="$8"

    if [[ $ACCESS_ENABLED != Y ]]
    then
    if [[ $ACCESS_TYPE != T ]]
    then
        echo "CLIENT ACCESS_TYPE is $ACCESS_TYPE"
    fi
    fi
}