An enormous spider appears. It's clearly coming for you. Or not. What do you do?
Staying calm, place a glass or similar containment device over the creature.
Now gently slide a card under the glass, taking care not to trap any legs. There should be eight after you have completed this manoeuvre.
Transfer to a suitable platform such as a book, and carry to a window or other suitable release location.
No Oracle experts were harmed in the making of this blog.
Reintroduce the creature into the wild, where it can begin a new life free to roam among its own kind. Or just wander back in of course, but spiders are not known for their homing instinct. Or are they? To be honest we haven't checked. This one said something about "Scotland" and "revenge".
Finally, always sterilise your equipment.
Meanwhile in Edinburgh, police were called to a flat in the Stockbridge area following reports of a violent assault...